2025 Competition Lyrics Entry:
Mom’s new friend by Lance Callaghan
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Lyrics
Tell me moms got s new friend and he really is all right
That they never seem to argue an they never ever fight
Say he buys you lots of candy gives you money to
Then you say he’s ok but I’de rather be with you
Say he’s takin you in two weeks somewhere hot in the sun
An your going on an areoplan an oh won’t that be fun
Then you stare with eyes so bright and blue
Then softly say can’t you come to
( Chorus )
Still sometimes while I’m sleeping i call your name out loud, thoughts come creeping
How I long to hold you close to be there when needed most
How I miss you
Tell your ma’am I’m real sorry that we ran a little late pick you up same time Tuesday and I’ll have you home for eight
Now you know it’s not my weekend but you can ask just the same and we’ll go back to the fun fare and do it all again
( Chorus ) ————-
Shout your mom that where outside talking for a while
Hey c’mon keep that chin up
Let me see that smile
Then I hear him shout, it’s time to come inside
A lump in my throat my anger I must hide
Chorus -_—-_—— out 😮💨
That they never seem to argue an they never ever fight
Say he buys you lots of candy gives you money to
Then you say he’s ok but I’de rather be with you
Say he’s takin you in two weeks somewhere hot in the sun
An your going on an areoplan an oh won’t that be fun
Then you stare with eyes so bright and blue
Then softly say can’t you come to
( Chorus )
Still sometimes while I’m sleeping i call your name out loud, thoughts come creeping
How I long to hold you close to be there when needed most
How I miss you
Tell your ma’am I’m real sorry that we ran a little late pick you up same time Tuesday and I’ll have you home for eight
Now you know it’s not my weekend but you can ask just the same and we’ll go back to the fun fare and do it all again
( Chorus ) ————-
Shout your mom that where outside talking for a while
Hey c’mon keep that chin up
Let me see that smile
Then I hear him shout, it’s time to come inside
A lump in my throat my anger I must hide
Chorus -_—-_—— out 😮💨
Lyrics Competition Results
Emotional Impact:
15/ 20
Technical Skill:
11/ 20
Memorability:
9/ 20
Storytelling:
13/ 20
Imagery:
8/ 20
Total Score:
56/ 100
Comments:
This is such a common but sad thing to write about and you did it in such a moving way.
Some of the rhymes are a little obvious so maybe have a look at some other ways of expressing the same idea but without the obvious perfect rhyme at the end of the line.
Some of the rhymes are a little obvious so maybe have a look at some other ways of expressing the same idea but without the obvious perfect rhyme at the end of the line.
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