2025 Competition Lyrics Entry:
Past tense by Denise Spencer
- Submitted:
- 2 Comments
Lyrics
Past Tense
Verse 1
Walking alone in the wintry woods
Feel a dread cold in my bones
Something is dying, sweet love has gone sour
Now I’m scared to go home x 2
Verse 2
Tears well up in frustration and fear
I just can’t face what is happening here
Together we used to be easy and free
Now it feels like you’re leaving me x 2
Chorus
Oh Baby we’ve been here before
And each time it hurts a bit more
Clinging on to the love that we have
Or should I use the past tense ‘had’ ?
Bridge
Past tense means something is gone
Future tense it’s not yet begun
There must be some good times ahead
But here and now is our love dead?
Verse 3
Every day is a mountain to climb
But sinking down in the dirt and the grime
Is a sickly love in its death throes
The question is – should we stay or let go?
Chorus
Bridge
Chorus
Verse 1
Walking alone in the wintry woods
Feel a dread cold in my bones
Something is dying, sweet love has gone sour
Now I’m scared to go home x 2
Verse 2
Tears well up in frustration and fear
I just can’t face what is happening here
Together we used to be easy and free
Now it feels like you’re leaving me x 2
Chorus
Oh Baby we’ve been here before
And each time it hurts a bit more
Clinging on to the love that we have
Or should I use the past tense ‘had’ ?
Bridge
Past tense means something is gone
Future tense it’s not yet begun
There must be some good times ahead
But here and now is our love dead?
Verse 3
Every day is a mountain to climb
But sinking down in the dirt and the grime
Is a sickly love in its death throes
The question is – should we stay or let go?
Chorus
Bridge
Chorus
Author
Bio
Denise Spencer, born in Britain, has lived in South West France since 1992. She started writing and composing during the pandemic lockdowns, and recorded two albums of original material in English and French.
Co-author(s)
Lyrics Competition Results
Emotional Impact:
12/ 20
Technical Skill:
10/ 20
Memorability:
6/ 20
Storytelling:
9/ 20
Imagery:
9/ 20
Total Score:
46/ 100
Comments:
The concept is a great choice as it’s something most people can connect with as many have had a broken heart.
I think you could elevate the imagery by using the “show don’t tell” idea. So rather than saying “I can’t face what’s happening here” you could describe how it feels and liken it to something.
I think you could elevate the imagery by using the “show don’t tell” idea. So rather than saying “I can’t face what’s happening here” you could describe how it feels and liken it to something.
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Thanks for the feedback..a little disappointed as my nearest and dearest rate this as one of my better lyrics …moving onward and upwards !!
Nice